SOUVENIRS OF PERFECTION

I prefer books to actual people  The hundred imaginary ones I see As a story unfolds, I find Have stayed closer Kept me warmer for longer Than friends I’ve spent ages with Perhaps it’s why I’d rather live with the memory of you Than sprint till the end And see what this transforms into I’d…

Piritons

Sleep eludes me yet again.  And looking at the tiny yellow pills drowning in the space of their see through plastic bag, I wonder for a moment, how many it would take, to knock me out for a whole day straight. 

Two and a Half Seasons of Coldplay

  Speed of Sound reminds me of chilly days keeping my sister company while my niece was still unborn. We were both guilt-free couch potatoes waking up to TV and watching as many Fashion Police episodes as our reminders could allow. (Our love for the program died with Joan Rivers. Afterwards, it felt like watching…

Death Wish

Sometimes I deliberately sabotage myself when I know deep down that I  do not want something. There’s a time I wasn’t exactly suicidal but I wasn’t high on life either; and each bus I would go into, travelling over long distances, I would not put on my seat belt. I would consciously remember that it is advisable to put it on but I…

To Change the World

​Anger drives me; perhaps more than love does. And sometimes, thinking myself a single mosquito wrecking havoc on an adult human,I believe with all my heart that I can change the world. I am not too small. And then sometimes I think myself a freshwater raindrop falling into a salty sea. What good will it…

The Laughter of Candles

Water slowly fills up the toilet tank in the darkness two doors away. It is silent; everyone asleep save for my thoughts and my fingers. The candle beside mesteadily glows; an upside down flag, orange and ancient, standing strong on a single string and laughing at the failures of modernity. If I listen carefully close, I bet I’d hear it hissing. It’s how candles laugh. But…

To Laugh

Thoughts of death swirl around my head as soothing whispers promising sweet oblivion. And I have to stop myself from going back to bed and disappearing under the duvet. Sleep is a step too close to the oblivion I seek and yet not close enough. It’s all or nothing for me and so rather than futilely welcome death, I will sit here…

Impressions of Wundanyi

Three things I always look forward to when visiting Wundanyi; the misty evenings, the library, great laughs and peace of mind. The library the tops the list. It rarely has people and has gems of books some of whose last-borrowed stamps read the early 90’s. This saddens me a little because I think books get…

Evening Chai

​Morning tea is a ritual. Evening tea however has a certain magic to it. The universe aligns at that first sip of perfectly boiled, perfectly strong, perfectly sugared tea, and in that moment, I know what happy feels. How weirdly good evening tea tastes to me, is how alcoholics feel at the sip of just the…

Growing Up Can Wait

I experience a very healthy respect for life’s unpredictability each time I think of my brother and how turbulent his job search has been. For more than five years, he went from job to school to complete unemployment to whatever job he could earn cash out of, no matter that it had nothing to do with…

The Important Things

Ever since I was told to move out of home at sixteen with no hopes of a career other than whoring, I’ve always wanted a place of my own, constantly. I have aunts whose places it is out of question to not stay the night and longer and yet, no matter how much they would ask…

The Last Letter

I will never forgive you I once told myself Knowing what I do now I know someday I will Were you not the one Who taught me first hand To be different To stand for my values  And stand tall Even if I stood alone You carved out of me A monument of pure steel So acutely hardened Not even…

Ten

I found a letter That turned the ground I sat on To quicksand And slowly sinking Reeling from my find I wonder how you could So easily lie And how lucky for me To never have tried To heal you Your wounds lie deep within And you vibrant color-drenched skin Is a poisonous façade I could never heal you…