Crash and Burn

you are a child watching a birdie flapping it’s wings in the throes of death and it is your hope I cannot stand! When it all boils down I will fold; i will always choose death over life Don’t you know? I never sought to heal Only to crash and burn

Remember This

you must never cocoon me when i want to freefall nor cuff my wrists in place when i need both hands to write, to create, to strangle myself remember when the world claims that love holds fast and never let’s go remember this i am yours to love i am no one’s to keep  

An Other Way to Love

i need you to let me walk to the edge of a cliff knowing without a doubt that i will jump off and i need you to let me walk on without trying to stop me can you love me like this?

Three Little Warnings

you’ve seen the tip of my iceberg and think it safe to approach? i will wreck you *** you have damned yourself to this, you say to loving me, if it’s the last thing you’ll do -do you realize it truly will be? *** love, my love is no balm for wounds it is merely…

Second Times the Charm

Journal Dec 15th 2016 When the exam coordinator called me sometime this year, to tell me I could not graduate because my units were not in order, I had to sit on the step of our backdoor and take a breath before I was ready to listen to the reasons she had. I’m pretty sure…

Sweet Spots And Parachutes

I haven’t written for the longest time; even in my journal. I have been stable enough to not need to write and I decided I will only blog when the conditions are conducive for me to do so without worrying about my blog being inactive for a month or more.  Five years blogging simply because…

Journal: 1st December 2016

I haven’t been writing much even offline. My journal’s last entry must have been sometime in July when I was figuring myself out after my lowest low in years perhaps. I made a pact to try things out and I have been going at them and enjoying them when life isn’t busy wasting my efforts….

Journal: Sometime in November 2016

Since I got back to crafting about two months ago, I haven’t had a single threatening low. You know how they say, when you’ve reached rock bottom the only way to go is up? It’s like I had sunk to the sea bed of shitty feelings about existence, and now I was floating upwards finding…

Journal : August 9th 2016

I am all over the place right now. I experience bursts of such high energy and creative spurts followed by flat slumps of being a potato. I sleep 8 hours but sleep at 2 a.m which means I’m usually up at 10. I tried to undo this by starting to sleep early, only to end…

August

August saunters in, serene in her grace A soft puffy cloud In a veil the color of the heavens Her iridescent train As far as the eye can see Is spun in silken thread the hue of golden sun   And July unimpressed turns away, pouting With lips purple like death by frost Head loftily…

The Sorrow of Tomorrow

I wear my melancholy like a heavy grey cape Trailing the ground behind me as I go So when the sorrow of tomorrow meets me she knows To meekly weave herself into the frayed thread ends Of those tears her mothers left for her to find That is her place Not loftily perched upon my…