It’s eerily quiet today. Nobody has called. Not even a text except for the odd Safaricom texts. These people are getting on my nerves.

I hear a sound. It’s the neighbours cat’s that are permanently on cat viagra and they’re “doing it and doing it well…(×2)” outside my window. A sad reminder of my current state of affairs and by affairs I mean of the female variety.

When was the last time I made that creaky face as my body shuddered and “spersmed”?……(crickets) actually the last time things (clothes) went down was when I was with Selena. Sigh. Sweet memories Selena gave me.
Now for those who don’t know Selena lemme introduce you to her.Selena isn’t your typical girl. She is what ordinary and not so desperate boys would call ugly.I on the other hand found her adequate enough. She had pimpled cheeks instead of dimpled, wavy hair of…

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