Wanting to believe
And trust in God all I can
I remember my bad times
And other traps
I got lucky
Not to be snared in

I should thank him
But then I wonder
What if he put me through such traps
Sometime in future

He made no promises

And how can I trust him
If he only does only
What he wants
Though I cry and beg
For relief

Does he ever really listen
I wonder

And why must I pray then?

To be told
It’s for my own good
Or it will pay off
In the end?

And  I fear now
I don’t trust him

Who knows what else
He will put me through

Who knows if he’ll just
Watch me drown
When I scream for salvation

Would he care?

And I wonder
Does God feel pain?
Does he cry?


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