Its just today that I realized I have been doubtful of Christianity for the past nine years. Technically, I have not attended mass for about three years- the few times I have gone, I have been walking out midway to go browsing the internet for interesting stuff  or if I had no cash, I sat outside the church to look at trees and people. I have been going to church just so my mum won’t rant.

Now, 23 days to the end of the year, its about time I became honest with myself.

I am completing the year with closure to my abandoning Christianity- the religion I have been brought up in since I was born.  Next year I don’t want any more arguments about Christianity or questions thrown my way as to why I am not a Christian. So I will rest my case in upcoming posts tagged AbandoningChristianity.

Maybe I will tell my family soon, but till then, I am gathering as much armor against the religion I am leaving- just so that no one comes around screaming that I am possessed or  that I am going to hell.

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”





  1. I think that religion is generally providing a good foundation of morals and values. And once this has been learnt, then really, what need is there for us to continually revisit it? Kindergarten is great too for a headstart in life but does that mean we need to keep going to kindergarten?

  2. Hey babe. Sad to hear you are giving up on the love of someone so awesome. Following the path Christ has asked us to follow is a path well travelled by many but many abandon the journey midway or never even make the effort because sometimes it makes no sense. And you know what I can totally relate to that hopelessness. The senselessness of it all. But after my journey, despite my many disappointments my faith grows stronger and stronger. Everyday. With every breath I take. And boy the air is fresh or what. I have worked for it though. Long and hard. 31 years to be precise. And I think if we are happy to work our butts off in fancy jobs with fancy pay checks like the rats we have become in this massive race, then why is it so hard for us to see that faith and a relationship with God is easy enough but it requires work from us- the individual. Today’s disillusionment comes from too much information and technology that dilutes the importance and the necessity of an intimate relationship with God. Who can blame us? Also lot of people use the guise of being Godly as a shield or a platform to commit all sorts of atrocities which takes away a lot of credibility. Sure. But I’m proud to say I’m made in the image of God and I’m a god in my own right; a lesser one but a god nonetheless with godly attributes. Therefore I believe we have the intelligence to know when something is bullshit and when things really make sense. We are made of God’s spirit, intricately part of Him. We have free will. God never interferes with our ability to choose whatever the heck we want. However what we choose defines the rest of our lives. We are intelligent beings capable of creating marvellous inventions to improve and better our own existence yet in the same breath so unbelievably stupid because we also create weapons that can destroy us in nano seconds. We are essentially human. Our physical form is limited. But our spirit isn’t. I love Jesus. Without his sacrifice today I would have been dead from the inside. A living shell of a dead human spirit. I could tell you so much that has happened to me and you may understand the real value of being a Christian. Christianity to me is supernatural. We as the saved children of Christ have the ability to change the world if only, only we knew and tried.
    Sending you lots of love and blessings. Don’t give up yet because God never has. Even when it doesn’t seem like it……

    1. Hey u! I gave up ages ago;I think its just now that its official. Each time something awesome happens and I see the goodness of God, I see the world as it is and I am reminded of a god who just stands by and watches people suffer for nothing. And I remember places I have been- suicidal and everything- and I think of people who HAVE committed suicide then I am left wondering- when God pushes me to that point again, how really can he be on my side? I think God just does things to please himself- and some of those things please us too but its not out of his selflessness. He has his own ends and for a long time now, I have been feeling like his pawn- I hate feeling like that. So if I am to keep living and not quit midway, I’ll just have to forget God altogether and live this life as it comes.God will do whatever he wants anyway- I may as well live my life good and enjoy it well.

      1. So you think that the pain and troubles in the world are God given? This is exactly what the dark side wants you to think and subsequently react that way. I will tell you what. I have been suicidal, abused, miserable so many times in my life. I always asked God why He let all that stuff happen to me. Now that I’m older, hopefully wiser and a lot more knowledgable about my faith in God and how my relationship with Him works it all makes so much sense. I’m actually GRATEFUL for all my trials and tribulations. Because it has taken the weak in me and moulded a much stronger and loving woman. The pain and suffering in the world is man made Hun. God cannot interfere when free will is concerned. It is the design of nature. An apple tree doesn’t suddenly sprout berries. It hasn’t been designed to bear anything but apples. Just because God is all powerful and all knowing doesn’t mean we make bad choices and expect God to swoop down on us and simply make it all go away. Think about your relationship with your parents. The ultimate humanly experience that makes us understand how our relationship with God works. When you pray and seek you will truly find Him. But not everything can be on your terms sadly. It’s like any relationship. Give and take. If we keep falling and bringing pain to ourselves and then expect God to simple wipe it away because He is this magical being then I think it’s us who is narcissistic. God is our Father. Life is a lot deeper than us humans like to believe. Or even have the time or patience for. But it is inexplicably so amazing and beautiful. It really is. Especially when I walk in the faith that Jesus did die for me out of sheer love and God walked this earth through him to save us. Think about it if you can. Don’t give up on something that could potentially change your life around. I know mine has transformed. :-))

        1. So you think that the pain and troubles in the world are God given? ….
          yes I do. If God is all powerful and all- knowing, there is nothing that happens that he has not allowed by his power. My problem is that He can stop some things but he just stands by and watches. I think some suffering is just a waste- there are things I cannot justify or say that they were worth happening. Am sure you’ve read the book of Job- that was the first to make me super angry at God. And no, I do not believe in free will. Unless there are things God doesn’t know, you cannot say that you have a choice if he already knows what you’ll choose.

          Christianity teaches on one hand that God’s love is unconditional- but quick question, will God save people who go to hell or they chose their fate so they can go to hell literally? what kind of love is that and how unconditional is it that if you don’t follow God’s will, you will get tortured. That sounds more like blackmail not love. If God is as the bible says, I dont think he is loving at all.

          1. I think you need to meditate more on the words of the Bible and perhaps speak to God on a one to one level. I can guarantee He will respond and show you what you want to know. As I said we cannot create a mess of things in the world and then demand God clean it up for is or should have stopped it from happening. He is all knowing doesn’t mean He made us make the choices we make. He just knows what we will eventually opt for. He is our Creator. But He will not impose His will upon us. Every good or bad experience has a purpose. It is perhaps your own individual perception of that particular event or incident that may inherently stop you from seeing the bigger picture or relate to whatever lesson it tried to teach us. Some of us I believe just exonerate ourselves from committing to God just so we don’t get challenged or confused. It’s not easy. No one ever said it is. I almost took myself and my very young baby to die. I know I was under spiritual attack and it was my own hellish battle to fight. I think I won as I’m alive today. It is an intricate journey and one can be easily mislead. Only redeeming fact is the love and guidance of Jesus to help us through the valley of shadows. Surround yourself with the word of God and people of God; real people of God and see the miracles.

            Job is a popular story everyone gets riled over. The bible is relevant and has far deeper meaning than it at first appears to. But it was written long time ago by various people. Ordinary people like you and me. With faults and shortcomings. I always remind myself. Certain books were written for a particular church of the time. We are intelligent enough to understand what applies to us and what doesn’t.
            Can I tell you I was Job not so long ago?:-) Also in the beginning I got annoyed and frustrated with the bible because I felt like it was gibberish. But as my faith grew, I grew as a person it made more sense to me. A LOT more.
            My beautiful Helen I think you have removed yourself so far away from God that you cannot see what He wants from you. Don’t do things on your own understanding. We are human after all with limitations that we cannot overcome. Trust me. God is all about the love. Don’t let the dark side have you please!
            As for people in hell, well you reap what you sow. Design of nature and the universe. Hence the fallen angel Satan exists. God could have simply wiped him out but He didn’t.
            We can go on and on and on. I love talking about God. His spirit lights up my life and my heart. That’s why I love you so much even though I haven’t event met you. My inspiration- motherhood. 🙂 God bless you babe..xxx

  3. I feel you here. For years I struggled with my Christian faith until I came out of the closet and face the fact that living my life under any dogma wasn’t for me. Don’t get me wrong I believe in a higher power, his name or how to worship that higher power is the issue. When ask my religious belief I say I’m Spiritual. That makes a lot of people step off, thinking I’m crazy. But I believe spirit resides in everything and in everyone and the only way to worship a Higher Power whose essence is spiritual, for me, is through spirit. Just my thoughts.

    1. Thanks for sharing Glynis! I do believe in a higher being though at this point I really wish I didn’t- then I would be more at peace. It will take time to purge the disturbing picture of God that I have known from the bible and christian teachings but I hope I’ll get it together and if that doesn’t work, I’ll just forget him altogether and get on with living this life.

Leave a word (or more)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s