CINDERELLA THE BITCH

Let no one tell you any different ; Cinderella was a lying scheming bitch! It pisses me that no one cares what “happily ever after” means or  who the hell lived happily ever after! So many people think she was the goody-two-shoes in all this yet they never cared to find out what happened after she went off with my prince. Yes, MY PRINCE! I know what you’re thinking right now- I am the evil step sister; I must be the jealous bitter one. But I am not. Far from it in fact.

I am not jealous- I never was jealous or hateful of Ella. The closest I came to even being unkind was pranking her. Admittedly, Gina, my untidy twin sister actually hated her because Ella was a fussy irritating thing. I am not complaining because her obsession with cleaning turned out to be a great thing for me.

See, our daddy died and since she had been daddy’s girl, she took it pretty hard. I guess more cleaning and scrubbing things to the point of wearing them out became a sort of therapy for her. It was win-win for me- she did all my chores, washed my clothes and room and she was happier after cleaning so we could go out to the neighbors’ ranch, ride the ponies, and do all the fun things only boys were allowed to do.

Now, apart from being adventurous, I was also very sharp and it took me a few days to notice there was something between her and Lasso, the stable hand- who was quite the looker but smelled of horse poo most of the time. I don’t know how clean-freak Ella let him get close for a smooch but then, opposites attract so you never know.

It was this knowledge that lulled me to the stupid notion that Ella was otherwise engaged and so when we met the prince, about a week later, I thought Ella would let me have him!

I recall the day very well. Ella and I had made sure momma had the sleep medication for her flu and with my twin more comfortable sewing dresses than running amok in the fields; it was just the two of us- with a longer time period for our adventures.

That day, we had told Lasso that we wouldn’t go too far with the ponies- as usual. We always kept that promise that but that day was different. With mum asleep for the whole afternoon, and Gina’s turn to make dinner, the two of us won’t be needed till late in the evening and it was not every day that happened!

So we went to the one place we weren’t supposed to go- the royal woods where there was a large lake with water cleaner than the public watery dump where everyone-filthy or otherwise – went for a dip. The lake was a little deep in the woods but not too far from the palace so we could see it through the woods. In case a guard were to come for us, we would see him early enough to make an escape.

So we stripped and giggled ourselves silly rushing into the slightly chilly clear water. It was so clear I could almost see my foot on the bed. We even had a fart contest to see who would make the lake bubble and Ella was winning much to my rib-hurting laughter!

And guess who of all people should find us in our unladylike, nude state!

The prince! On a horse that looked anything but royal while he himself wore an ugly piece of peasant clothing that even we, though of the lower class, would not dare wear. He was not from the direction of the palace and I could swear he could have followed us! And I was so smitten and flattered by that thought that all I could do was stare.

He was beautiful- sitting there on his ugly horse and looking at us in ill-hidden amusement- especially at me. It took Ella putting her hand on my breasts to realize the water didn’t reach that high. And her hand was ticklish so I begun laughing and thankfully, the prince joined in too so I was not too embarrassed.

Ella was not equally amused and made a comment about the prince’s ugly cloak.

Now, the rules of etiquette state that if you have nothing nice to say do not say it. And so I had not made my thoughts heard but Cinderella just had to go ahead and do it for me! And as if that wasn’t enough, she laughed out loud as I went red in the face.

Guess my shock when the prince joined in Ella’s laughter at his own royal self! And I was left to be the sour one!

That’s when the plane shifted. I didn’t pay much attention because the day before, I had caught Ella smooching with Lasso. Plus, the prince talked nicely to me too when he noticed that I was left out in the laughter.

One time he even smiled at me and that was when he was telling us about the ball where he was to choose his bride. He looked at me pointedly before casting Ella a fleeting look and saying goodbye. He did exactly that, I swear!

I knew we had something special and stupid me couldn’t wait to share my thoughts with Ella once we got back home! She even offered to mend a dress I had long abandoned. And it was super pretty. The news about the ball had spread and Gina was not too thrilled about the ball dance but mamma would have none of her girls staying home instead of putting themselves out there for a prince. Except for Ella of course, who spent most of the morning curled up in bed with a stomach-ache.

Ella was a good liar… and a conniving bitch.

Guess my shock when later in the night as I awaited my turn with the prince, Cinderella makes an entrance in a gown that definitely does not belong to our household! I have no idea where she got that gown but it was beautiful, magnificent, exquisite, and stolen! I can swear on that!

All eyes were on her of course including you-know-who.

They had their dance- and it was a long long torture for me!

I couldn’t stand her betrayal and rushed home before the dance ended. Gina came home complaining about the whole affair being a waste of time and mom could only talk about the gown and how she would kill for such a gown. Surprisingly, none of them believed me when I said the girl in that gown was Cinderella.

Gina who did not even like Ella, went as far as reminding me how I liked to prank Ella and how I just wanted to create trouble for her! No one cared look for her- but I did. And her room was locked. And I knew she wasn’t in. Momma and Gina reminded me of her stomach ache and it was all I could do to keep from crying in exasperation!

Cinderella came home extremely late and yours truly was the one who met her.

She had a stupid grin on her face and I could not even tell her the nasty words I had rehearsed. I just wanted to rip her dress and her face for ruining my night! The prince would have remembered me too- if she hadn’t taken forever dancing with him!

And the rest is history.

The prince came around looking for the girl with a glass slipper and guess who they fit?! Guess whose slippers they really were?! Mine, from two years ago. My feet had outgrown them but I loved them so badly, I held on and kept them inside my case.

INSIDE my case.

The worst part was not that Cinderella  took away my chance with the prince. It wasn’t even when she accepted his proposal when she knew very well that I loved him!

The worst part was that two months after the wedding, she ran away with none other than Lasso, the neighbor’s stable hand! That is, after she had stolen a lifetime’s worth of jewels from the palace and a horse to ride into the sunset with. The little bitch didn’t even have the decency say goodbye to us! To me!

And that was the happily ever after. Ella and her smelly stable hand. The prince became a bitter king who married from a foreign land, I heard. I don’t really know because my family had to move immediately thanks to the disgrace that Ella had made ours.

So think all you want about goody-two-shoes Ella but am telling you now, whenever you hear “happily ever after” ask who’s happily ever after it was. Cinderella was a bitch and if you better believe it because if you don’t, you are just as stupid as I was!

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. tonny muchui says:

    If this be yours then Sydo I’m in love with your thinking. Not you but your mind only. Typically of Sydo to look at it from the unheard of perspective. Heck! We should make this a stage play. Just picture it. “Cinderella unhappily ever after” Maybe Kenyanise it too.

    1. hellenmasido says:

      Hehe! Its mine alright and roger that on being in love with my mind ONLY cuz otherwise, it gets a little disturbing :-P. Make that play by the way! I’ll act in it if you wanna! It will be interesting to see your twisted mind give yet another angle to the corny fairytale! 😀

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