THE THREESOME

The threesome was a bad idea from the word go. I am a mutual friend true but I’m closer to Jerald than I am to Regina. Don’t get me wrong; she can be nice enough to share her Chanel no. 5 if I asked, but she’s never been my type of girl friend. She’s too petty and dramatic. One armpit hair needs mowing, a broken nail is a tragedy, and her heart breaks to a million pieces when she sees a cheap Gucci bag! It’s like “AH! They’ve photocopied the Monalisa and how dare they?!” That’s Regina for you. Every teardrop is a waterfall!

So anyway, the two wanted to get kinky but didn’t want to go 50 shades; I bet she can’t stand any mark on her flawless skin. A threesome sounded safe and for some reason I was the perfect candidate. My self esteem didn’t recognize the possibility that I was much less pretty than her and therefore, not a threat at all. I mean, it could have been because I’m a good friend of Jerry’s and her’s too- if what we are can be termed as friendship. The only decent conversations we have are fashion based (and to her credit she tutors me on that). Legally blonde I guess!

Whoa! Will I have to kiss her?! That had been my first worry.

Would I really have to kiss her? She wears red lipstick! I hate red anything! And she has big lips too. I told Jerald that and he laughed in my face saying I was getting freaked out before I even considered the things he has to offer.

“Fuck you!” I said and he grinned.

“Next Saturday?” he asked and I didn’t comment.

It was only after meeting a very stoned Regina that I got swept into the whole idea. It was at a house party; I was already a little drunk, and even though I hadn’t smoked any roll of weed, it must have gotten to my head thanks to the loud smoky room I had left for a breath of fresh air.

Jerald was smoking a cigarette and I was lying on the hard concrete ground, staring up at the black starry sky and dreaming drunken dreams. Regina stumbled up the stairs to the rooftop then made a sound of relief and wobbled her way to Jerald. She smooched him noisily and he pushed her away much to my laughter and hers.

“Jer hanipendi! I need love!” she whined drunkenly and bent down to crawl towards me. Kicking her heels aside, she lay next to me and put a hand around me.

Yeah Regina gets that weird when drunk too so I only laughed and indulged her as she breathed onto my cool cheek was she spoke incoherently about how hot she thought I was and how she would kill to have eyes like mine.

“You have like the prettiest eyes yani! Argh” she growled as she cupped my face and looked into my eyes. “Sindio babe?” she asked for a second opinion and Jerald who sat straddling the wall next to us, nodded then took a deep puff of his cigarrette. I rolled my eyes.

I never take drunken talk too seriously but Regina was funny there is really nothing funnier than a stoned  Regina! I think we could be the best of friends if she was never sober. Her mind seems more perceptive and liberal- and I always have a thing for liberal minds.

So when she asked about the threesome that Jerald had spoken to me about, I laughed yet again and shrugged hoping she would let it go. But she was waiting for an answer and to get her off my case- and face too since she was cupping my cheeks and speaking to my lips- I agreed to the threesome.

The following Saturday as Jerry had suggested. At his  place. It had seemed like the craziest, weirdest thing I had done in a long long time and it felt so liberating to say just yes. After all, what could go wrong, right?

 

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