(ii) the ways of the tongue

My first (and only) boyfriend while in high school was a little older and already done with school. My family heard the rumors and my siblings couldn’t get enough of teasing me. I tend to be very secretive about my romantic affairs because I feel like the people around me begin to have high hopes;…

(i) touch and go

When I was young and we’d play with the estate kids at Sikujua Estate (Voi) we’d play a game called “Cha Kimama”. It’s basically playing House but some kids knew there was more to being daddy and mommy than just coming from work, cooking for the family or tending to the kids. Some kids knew…

Second Times the Charm

Journal Dec 15th 2016 When the exam coordinator called me sometime this year, to tell me I could not graduate because my units were not in order, I had to sit on the step of our backdoor and take a breath before I was ready to listen to the reasons she had. I’m pretty sure…

Sweet Spots And Parachutes

I haven’t written for the longest time; even in my journal. I have been stable enough to not need to write and I decided I will only blog when the conditions are conducive for me to do so without worrying about my blog being inactive for a month or more.  Five years blogging simply because…

Journal: 1st December 2016

I haven’t been writing much even offline. My journal’s last entry must have been sometime in July when I was figuring myself out after my lowest low in years perhaps. I made a pact to try things out and I have been going at them and enjoying them when life isn’t busy wasting my efforts….

Journal: Sometime in November 2016

Since I got back to crafting about two months ago, I haven’t had a single threatening low. You know how they say, when you’ve reached rock bottom the only way to go is up? It’s like I had sunk to the sea bed of shitty feelings about existence, and now I was floating upwards finding…

Journal : August 9th 2016

I am all over the place right now. I experience bursts of such high energy and creative spurts followed by flat slumps of being a potato. I sleep 8 hours but sleep at 2 a.m which means I’m usually up at 10. I tried to undo this by starting to sleep early, only to end…

Piritons

Sleep eludes me yet again.  And looking at the tiny yellow pills drowning in the space of their see through plastic bag, I wonder for a moment, how many it would take, to knock me out for a whole day straight. 

Two and a Half Seasons of Coldplay

  Speed of Sound reminds me of chilly days keeping my sister company while my niece was still unborn. We were both guilt-free couch potatoes waking up to TV and watching as many Fashion Police episodes as our reminders could allow. (Our love for the program died with Joan Rivers. Afterwards, it felt like watching…

Death Wish

Sometimes I deliberately sabotage myself when I know deep down that I  do not want something. There’s a time I wasn’t exactly suicidal but I wasn’t high on life either; and each bus I would go into, travelling over long distances, I would not put on my seat belt. I would consciously remember that it is advisable to put it on but I…

To Change the World

​Anger drives me; perhaps more than love does. And sometimes, thinking myself a single mosquito wrecking havoc on an adult human,I believe with all my heart that I can change the world. I am not too small. And then sometimes I think myself a freshwater raindrop falling into a salty sea. What good will it…

The Laughter of Candles

Water slowly fills up the toilet tank in the darkness two doors away. It is silent; everyone asleep save for my thoughts and my fingers. The candle beside mesteadily glows; an upside down flag, orange and ancient, standing strong on a single string and laughing at the failures of modernity. If I listen carefully close, I bet I’d hear it hissing. It’s how candles laugh. But…