moving mountains

I believe myself lucky having being born the last in my family. I did not need to act a certain way because I had to play role model and I was never second best. Nor was I third and caught in between sibling squabbles and rivalry. I was last and never had to prove myself […]

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the bravery of childhood

I have watched my niece grow up for the past three plus years since she was born, and I have gained a newfound respect for babies and children; earthlings and how persistent we are in growing and becoming better.  Once upon a time, it was unthinkable to have my niece stand without adult arms at […]

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the newness of things

The film Arrival got me thinking about language, and how/if it influences how we think. How art, in all its different forms, is at the very core, a language, and how as artists, we learn to shape and reshape this dialect to morph it into a shadow of what we feel and think; what we […]

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Saying “Hi”

I am on episode 4 of 13 Reasons Why. I cannot ingest more than two episodes in one sitting for obvious reasons. And even during the two episodes I watch , I pause sometimes. To think, about the male gaze for example or to imagine how it feels to be objectified as a woman- something […]

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(v) child of mine

I am 26. No one close to me that truly knows me asks about marriage anymore. That is something we laugh about when a person that doesn’t know me asks. Children however still come in the picture. Even those that know me better than most sometimes ask, “But what if?”   Some go further and […]

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(iv) to love a girl

In a Catholic school, where daily mass was compulsory, and skirts could not go higher than the knees, I once loved a girl. It was very discreet and not at all like those secrets you told your best friends after a pinky swear. A cute crush in German class you whispered about excitedly, underneath curved […]

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(iii) to fuck stupid

On the night I lost my virginity, I fucked stupid. It was at a house party, I was sufficiently tipsy, and he really wasn’t bad looking. Also I really just wanted to be rid of my stupid hymen. Back in Waa Girls (my second high school), on the right hand side of the blackboard where […]

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(ii) the ways of the tongue

My first (and only) boyfriend while in high school was a little older and already done with school. My family heard the rumors and my siblings couldn’t get enough of teasing me. I tend to be very secretive about my romantic affairs because I feel like the people around me begin to have high hopes; […]

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(i) touch and go

When I was young and we’d play with the estate kids at Sikujua Estate (Voi) we’d play a game called “Cha Kimama”. It’s basically playing House but some kids knew there was more to being daddy and mommy than just coming from work, cooking for the family or tending to the kids. Some kids knew […]

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Piritons

Sleep eludes me yet again. 

And looking at the tiny yellow pills drowning in the space of their see through plastic bag, I wonder for a moment, how many it would take, to knock me out for a whole day straight. 

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