Crash and Burn

you are a child watching a birdie flapping it’s wings in the throes of death and it is your hope I cannot stand! When it all boils down I will fold; i will always choose death over life Don’t you know? I never sought to heal Only to crash and burn

Remember This

you must never cocoon me when i want to freefall nor cuff my wrists in place when i need both hands to write, to create, to strangle myself remember when the world claims that love holds fast and never let’s go remember this i am yours to love i am no one’s to keep  

An Other Way to Love

i need you to let me walk to the edge of a cliff knowing without a doubt that i will jump off and i need you to let me walk on without trying to stop me can you love me like this?

Death Wish

Sometimes I deliberately sabotage myself when I know deep down that I  do not want something. There’s a time I wasn’t exactly suicidal but I wasn’t high on life either; and each bus I would go into, travelling over long distances, I would not put on my seat belt. I would consciously remember that it is advisable to put it on but I…

9 Years Sober

I haven’t thought seriously of suicide for about 9 years. I did about a month ago; all the way to a sure proof way to get it over with. The tipping point was the death of a child I knew only by association. And I am careful to just be there for people without being…

To Eat My Cake and Have Yet Another Slice

Last year in December, I almost lost my mother to a home robbery with violence. The neighbors said they found her in a pool of her own blood and were shocked to find her still breathing. I never wanted to hear what exactly happened and each time my mum willingly recounted what had happened to…

To Live For Others

Prompt: 1984 You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.   **** White. Cushy white all around me makes me damn angry. The bed is cushy, the ground is cushy, the freaking walls are cushy; the damn jacket I’m in is fucking cushy! It’s like being a sharp spiky…

BETTER OFF DEAD

She called me up, yesterday; sweet and jovial as usual- then somewhat hesitant at the end- when she asked whether I was free to meet up for coffee. That she has a nagging issue she’d like to talk about. And thinking of her well being, and wiling as ever, I said of course I was…

Why Do We Still Live?

It’s been long since I thought of suicide, but after writing the above poem about a week ago (Viners? Anyone?) I realized that while years ago I promised myself to see all there is to life instead of just quitting it, suicide, has all along been a kill switch of sorts for me.

NUMB

Is it so bad a thing To want to just sit here Lie here for days on end Until death takes me Each time, I think of a thing I deeply care about A minute later, it passes on Forgotten… Like walking away and never looking back Never even imagining What could have been Just…

A LEAVE FROM LIFE

Of all things we may owe Our fellow human beings Do we owe them our lives? Save from needy young ones That we ourselves bring forth Do we owe our lives To any other Are these lives not our own To live and do As we please Choose what battles we may And retreat from…