Journal 28th June 2023

I have been feeling lost of late. I thought it would be easy peezy being back to Kilifi. I thought I would effortlessly fall back into my old routine but life isn’t that easy. I have recently tasted what it feels like to have money more frequently and I started to think maybe I could do menial tasks just for the money. Not that its easy to find such jobs to begin with and knowing myself, I know I will probably quit at some point so why start at all?

Meanwhile I have been meaning to learn new things that will help me with audio visual storytelling such as animation with Blender, Illustrator to aid with the design side of me and editing more videos. I have yet to do any of these things because again, I don’t know where to begin. It feels like maybe I want to learn too much in one go and maybe I should try do one thing at a time. Like start editing the gigs of footage in my hard drive. But even then, I don’t know what to start with.

I know this is part of the process but damn it kinda sucks to be this lost when I have all the resources at my disposal to learn and do anything I set my mind to. I bought this laptop to be able to edit and so instead of starting totally new things, perhaps the best way is to start at editing; something I am already familiar with and that I actually enjoy doing.

There is a story I am interested in already but I feel like it will be a lot of work to begin with but maybe that’s what I need; a project to drown myself in. So I think that’s where I will start. With watching footage from the GQ Project files. I don’t know yet whether I would like it as a standalone documentary that I can submit to festivals or whether I would like it as a web series where the story unfolds in whichever way I choose. I have enough footage for a web series for sure but I also like the idea of something feature length.

I guess I found my starting point in writing this.